hi guys,
I wanted to share this with you to get a taste of how it comes across. It's a new way of writing a short story for me and any constructive feedback (don't just say it's crap: tell me why
you don't connect with it please) is welcomed. It has already been sent into Mantic as part of my weekly submissions but some fast feedback would be welcomed.
Here it is...
A Soldiers Report
By
Jonathan Peace
001 – AAR – CD21334567112848328334093739284763 – Regulan12
TO: Malaskian Family, Hellios III, Dramai Sector
FROM: Corporation Central
RE: Trooper 23543-11324-11296
Find attached the
last video/data/transcript logs of Trooper 23543-11324-11296, whom we believe is your
daughter/son. They have
honoured themselves/given their lives/
disgraced themselves and your/for their family in the service of the Corporation, and for that we are
grateful/sorry.
DAY 1203 – LOC: REGULAN XII
I'm in the barracks here at the monastary over on Regulan 12. Yeah, I know it's not where they said I was going to be posted but what can I do. I'm just a small cog in a big damn wheel. All I know is, you lot are being taken care of by the Corporation thanks to my service. Well, service is certainly what I've been doing. They had me digging holes in the ground all day today. Best not ask what for. Looking forward to hearing from you when next post month comes around. Sorry I'll be missing Leana's birthday. Give her a hug and kiss from me.
DAY 1212 – LOC: REGULAN XII
I got promoted. I no longer dig holes for people to crap into. Now I prepare food. It's a step up I guess but not what I signed up for. The holo-vids all showed fighting the green skins or clearing out nests of Zz'or on our furthermost colonies. I don't ever once remember seeing a trooper digging a plop-hole or peeling a ferraspud. Still, I can't complain: a set meal a day, a bath every four weeks and all the stem I can ask for.
DAY 1214 – LOC: REGULAN XII
Word is coming down that we're being sent into battle soon. I damn hope so. There's no use having a carbine if you ain't about to use it. I've been putting in the required fifteen minutes combat drills every day, twenty where I can manage it, and I'm ready to get stuck in. This is what it was all about. This is why I signed up.
DAY: CLASSIFIED
We got here and as soon as the battle boats touched down we came under fire from Marauders. They
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A We then launched a
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A. I don't know what's will happen next but
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A says it will be over soon. Please, Karla, you must
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A safest I would suggest is
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A fighting. Promise me?
DAY:
CLASSIFIEDThey're
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A stop them. You know I joined with Jackal? He got
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A in the face. Nothing left. They
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A and
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A but when they
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A it happened so quickly. At first we thought it was just solar winds but then
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A everywhere. We can't
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A or even try to talk to them. They are beyond
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A or even
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A All we can hope to do is
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A maybe die.
DAY:
CLASSIFIEDHurts. Blood everywhere. They
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A Need
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A blood
DAY:
CLASSIFIEDGoing in
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A one last time. Hurts
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3ADAY:
CLASSIFIEDLove you
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A Wish I'd never
REMOVED DUE TO SECURITY RESTRICTION V.3A DAY:
CLASSIFIEDSorry.
As you can see your
daughter/son acted in a most
heinous/honorific fashion. We are therefore
summoning/awarding your family with
High Court/Corporation
charges/thanks. Please find enclosed a
trial date/food vouchers for you to
attend/use as dated.
Regards
Commander Hans F Reindhardt
Subsector:
CLASSIFIEDHF Reindhardt